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Mega Gaeb Newell.jpg

Gabe Newell (born November 3, 1962) is the managing director of Valve Corporation and The Regginator's arch nemesis.


Gabe Newell studied at Harvard University, from which he was kicked out. He also joined Microsoft, but was fired after accidentally releasing Windows 3.0. as "Windows 2.0. Episode 1". After all of the hate he received, he decided to create his own company called Valve. It was originally going to sell hats of gargantuan variety, but turned out to be a game making corporation.

He debuted with releasing Half-Life and Counter-Strike in 1998. Several years later, much problems have arisen because of CS updating. This forced Gaben to release Steam, originally a small program to update CS. However, with years, he was unable to pick up dropped CDs from the floor due to his massive weight, which caused him to turn Steam into a game distribution platform. For his own convenience. After releasing The Orange Box in 2007, he received many praise for Half-Life 2, Team Fortress 2 and the pleasant little surprise that was Portal. It was just a matter of years until TF2 turned into a F2P hat trading simulator, Steam to sell various games by otherwise unknown indie artists, and Half-Life 3 for... well, not being released.

Gabe Newell is best known for

  • Being fat
  • Being extremely sexy
  • Being Gaben
  • Making games
  • Watching MLP
  • Not making Half-Life 3
  • Discounting games, effectively making you pay more for them
  • Being a troll
  • Looking like a fat Harry Potter/John Lennon
  • Failure to count to number 3


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